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have u ever had a bunch of ppl around u but still felt all alone when… - to be different is a blessing [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Mar. 29th, 2005|03:06 pm]
have u ever had a bunch of ppl around u but still felt all alone when something bad happens? ever wonder y no one calls when u really need to talk but cant seem to dial a number yourself? Cornelius has luekemia. My first love, my only love and he's dying. Somehow i'm handling this but i cant understand how, how i walk from day to day like nothings wrong. He goes in for a blood transfusion 2mrw and his new girlfriend's going to the hospital with him. I'd go too but i couldnt even look at the girl, itd make the situation even harder. I'd have to restrain myself from telling her that not only does she not know what love is but she will never know the complete and real cornelius. It would tear me up on the inside to see him like that and then to see HER with him....is that selfish of me or only human? I've shed all the tears i have 4 him, been crying for him 4 two years. Death comes fast, the moment we took our first breaths we started dying, our biological clock, our life timebomb started ticking, counting down to the end. Now cornelius's end may be here now, or may be here next month or next year, whenever it comes his clock has sped up, time has been stolen from him. Even though he and i have been through our ups and downs and all our issues, i always knew he was there, never had to worry because he was still living in the same house, with the same people, at the same school. Its just one more person i love and lose.

From: linny20o0
2005-03-30 05:13 am (UTC)
mish i am truely sorry and am always here to talk... i mean that too, im not just saying it to console you.

i also understand how it is to lose someone you love (on a lesser level- just a breakup), so if you ever feel like talking 808-0053..

luv ya
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[User Picture]From: bohemianqueen06
2005-03-30 02:55 pm (UTC)
thanks linds, i kno ur sincere
luv u 2
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From: (Anonymous)
2005-04-05 03:31 am (UTC)

This is joey. HEY MISHA!!!

are you talking about Cornelius Collier?!?! you can't be cuz i know he doesn't have lukemia..
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